Good opening. There’s so many questions at the end, without any hint as to where the plot is going.

Interesting … particularly since the protagonist has worked here every day for the past fifteen years – and yet they’re following him/her. A mystery I’d love to see continued.

I’d love to see where you are taking this story. It’s a very strong and interesting beginning.

Ill-lit*, I believe. apart from that, AWESOME. really want a sequel to this.