ohh…seems to be the beginning of a very interesting story! I wasn’t expecting him to start applying makeup.

In the first paragraph, you say the house “was” no longer really a home. I think that maybe it should be present tense as the rest of the story is written in

Thanks for the feedback musicgirl, much appreciated. I shall correct it now.

“The home he lives in is no longer really a home but more of a strew of bad memory in which he exists” rolls awkwardly off of the tongue. As far as I know, strew is only a verb – and you can only strew memories if you have more than one of them.

Great twist at the end. It made me instantly interested.

Thanks Sanglorian, seem to be having trouble with that part. Need to read before I post in the future!

Great story! Further to Sanglorian’s comments on the ‘The home he lives in…’ bit, personally I think repetition of ‘home’ isn’t great. How about ‘The place he lives in is no longer really a home but somewhere strewn with bad memories…’, or something?
:)

This is great. Love the depressing feeling mixed in with the clown make-up. At least, that’s the feeling I got, that he was a clown, which only makes it all the more sad.

Thanks guys, I was going to make to make it more obvious as to why he was applying make up but wanted to see if anyone would write a sequel and put their own spin on it.

With the title and the white make-up, I couldn’t help but think clown.

Fantastic work. I also get clown.

Fantastic work. I also get clown.