Ah so many language techniques, so small a poem =). You’ve got just about everything in there. The central simile is very clever and I liked the repetition at the end of each stanza – gave the piece a very finished feel. Interesting rhyming too. It lacks a little emotion – not sure whether that’s deliberate. I like though =)
Abby (LoA) 
In Night's Arms 
Brebelles {LoA}