I feeling like there is a lot of effort in the use of “big” words… or would complex words be a better description? I feel like it distracts from the story.
The fourth sentence in particular seems especially tiring, the words coupled with the length its quite the tongue twister. Is it possible that this could be broken down at all?
From what I can tell though she is an interesting character with potentially fishy ambitions. I can’t quite tell yet (that’s a good thing)
Scrawler's Secret