Friends with benefits never works. I like how he lays out the canned responses and his feelings are all towards little details

Thanks Ghost – wasn’t sure if the details worked… on a skim, it seems unrelated, and possibly a wasteful use of characters. i was trying to give a concrete example of love (concern with details), and sex (taste, smell). your comment makes me feel a lot better about it.

I was confused over the first two lines, how could she get out and step in at the same time, but then i realized she got OUT of one car and INTO another. I think you should change the car door to his car door for clarification. :) The canned responses, the reflection, the last line are all brilliant!

thanks for the catch – i always forget that my readers don’t have the same mental picture. fixed!

i think you’ve done an excellent job calling out his true feelings via the questions, but something feels wrong about the third question. it doesnt feel right to me that someone would ask whether he enjoys it…wouldn’t that be an obvious yes (on a physical level)-therefore an easy question to both answer and smile about answering. personally, i think the better question would be something like ‘do you care about her’, ‘do you want to be with her’ …something that hints at ‘do you love her’ since that’s what he’s wrestling with here.

Yeah this is a great chapter but I do agree with temporary about the third question. It seems a little confusing. I love how conflicted he is about his own feelings despite his automatic responses.

temporary and ben – a direct question such as “do you care about her? do you want to be with her?” would be answered no differently than canned responses #1, #2, : i.e., it would be a lie.

i guess i should say, the third question is supposed to feel wrong… that’s why no one ever asks it.

The circumstance rings true.

“Her taste and smell linger in his thoughts on the drive home.” My favorite line because it’s an unusual and thoughtful and sly way to turn the physical smell and taste of her into a lingering thought— an intangible feeling of attachment.

No one ever asks if he enjoys it.

Actually Mark, that’s my favorite line.

Can lips frown? It’s great to see this kind of situation from a male point of view where the woman is married as opposed to the other way round. I think it makes it a whole lot more interesting.

I like how he continues thinking about her constantly, what she’s doing all evening. It shows how devoted he is.