I started this as something completely different, and ended up with this character. It was kind of thrown together with no direction or purpose.

Are you certain that the verb tense change is incorrect? I’m honestly not certain. The story is definitely told in two parts, with the introduction of a character still living, and the telling of events that have happened in the very recent past.

The narrator talking about a man still alive would describe him in present tense. The rest of the story is told in past tense as it happens in the very recent past. It makes sense to my twisted brain, but I’ve been known to be wrong before.

I didn’t even plan to write this, so I’m not necessarily planning a sequel. However, I have a strange affinity for Joe and may feel compelled to further his story.

I can’t tell whether no one in the neighborhood noticed Joe standing still for two hours, or they did and didn’t worry until it had been two hours. Either way, it’s funny—though I’m interpreting it as the latter, because that’s funny to me.

The line “other than a few quirks” feels a bit to me like oddnesses (not a word, eh?) on Joe’s behalf, as in “he has some weird quirks,” but I don’t think that’s quite what you mean.

I agree that there’s a verb tense shift that doesn’t seem to shift totally smoothly. Maybe “For the past twelve years, Joe has tried…” to keep the present tense until the second part kicks in?

I do like Joe, especially his, well, quirk of picking up the paper so formally attired.

Thanks jesteram. Good points all around. It’s definitely got some room for improvement and clarification. I intended his quirkiness to show through, thus the formal attire and how it took 2 hours before the neighbors thought it suspicious that he hadn’t moved from the mailbox.

I definitely don’t have the room here to fix it, and probably lack the talent as well.

As far as using “For the past twelve years, Joe has tried…” that’s originally how I wrote it, then changed it thinking that tense was incorrect. I definitely don’t want the story to be in present tense, but I felt if I talked about Joe in the past tense it would be foreshadowing his demise or something. Maybe I should just put it all in past tense for consistency.

Made a couple of changes. Modified the entire story to be in past tense, and clarified a point about them being his quirks.

Thanks for the comments guys. Greatly appreciated.

okay, predicting comment…
Was he remembering a moment with the police as his enemies?
Clues: something in the past happened that was big enough for him to bury it and leave some quirks behind. The lady would regret the phone call to the cops.

His birth being unsure, could he be a robot? The quirk of him standing for so long could be simply needing to solar recharge. The quirk of him getting dressed in a full suit could be him hiding his buttons and panels..

Okay I’m done predicting.

conjures chris van allsburg’s “the mysteries of harris burdick”

I’ve never heard of Chris Van Allsburg’s “The Mysteries of Harris Burdick,” so I’ll have to look that up to see if it’s a compliment or a put down. =P