Good dream sequence. But the story line is still a little too vague at this point for me to know what is happening.
agreed, good dream sequence, the abandonment and pain is very vivid.
This is a story I can see has potential. As you write more and more of the piece, you seem to be switching from flashbacks to present. I can see how this can be sometimes be confusing. But also, can make for a wonderful short story.
mark.i.wang
ElshaHawk (LoA)
Emmalene2