“What is the problem?”

I’ll never forget the faces in that small cafe as my companion became ever more agitated. looks ranging from shock to anger to humour filled the small room as the girl opposite me went off on a rant.

“I mean, we all do it… it’s not like we’ve managed to keep going as a civilisation for so many thousands of years without everyone doing it at some point.” A man on the next table along looked as if her were about to speak and I sent him a look which said trust me, you’re safer un-involved.

“yes.” I began in measured tones. “we do all do it, at some point, but I think the key point is that we don’t TALK about doing it, simply because we all do.” a mother placed her hands over the ears of her child and gave me crimson look. oh, REALLY, madame I remember thinking. he gets worse at school. I gave up the conversation then, determined to allow the subject to settle, and turned, as every good englishman does, to the weather. honestly. all that fuss over a trip to the loo.