Ficly

a series of thoughts that sends me into a deep, manic depression

long ago i was smiling without having to try
maybe i could be happy if only i tried
i can’t try to be happy because i’m so tired

i don’t care that i don’t have any plans for the future
i don’t care that i don’t have any motivation to do anything
i don’t care that i wouldn’t care if i died today

no one really knows who i am because of who i am
maybe someone could understand me if i just had the patience to explain

to get the help i need i will have to break down every wall i ever built
my life’s essence went into building those walls

the only way to break those walls is to lock myself deep inside them
the only place i can escape to now is the mental hospital that drove me insane

one day i may die and it won’t be the romantic escape that i dreamed of
one day i had the motivation to become anything i ever wanted
one day i wanted to be an astronaut

if only i could rest for a while, maybe life could be good again
one day i will be happy without trying
one day in the future i will smile without having to try

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