To me (author of the story that inspired Mark’s) I feel that, as it stands, this fits better as a sequel to ‘Baby it’s Cold Inside’ because in Mark’s story his agonies with Jan are ‘healed’ by Leila. Obviously, you could change Jan to Leila throughout, which in my opinion would improve the connection and the comedy.

I also think the second paragraph is quite flawed and doesn’t actually make sense – is the ‘with’ meant to be ‘which’?

Great idea nonetheless.

I like your idea. I will make the changes. :-)

The nice thing about campy writing is the longer you look at it the campier it reads. A perpetual – or perceptual gift. Probably both.

Much better in my opinion. :)

Thank you! :-)