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s. a. d. : it's not just an emotion anymore

why hasn’t it yet
occurred to me
that anxiety rules my life

i used to think
that i just hated me
but no, it’s all mankind

the feeling i get
when i speak from my heart
is like intestines filled with lead

with the feelings i get
you’d think that my gut
is the neural receptor for stress

why can’t i talk
when i can use words so well
why do i fear a crowd

a comfortable size
with comfortable folk
but still
i can
not speak.

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