or,
the second final poem,
in which i denounce the credibility of practically every psychiatrist i have met thus far.

i don’t want to change
what do i do
i’m afraid that if i change
i’ll lose my ability
to write like a writer
because you cannot choose
to be a writer
you cannot train
to be a writer
you are born
to be a writer
like a mental illness
like a birth defect
this is not a hobby
this is not a choice
this is not a profession
being a writer
is a disease
you can try
to escape it
but you cannot run
it consumes
and it spreads
and it grows like a tumor
like a parasite
it controls your brain
and it changes the way you think
this is not a choice
this is not a choice
it controls how you work
it forces you to write