I always liked where this was going… however, I don’t know where it’s going.
Inspired by that person, we’ve all met him/her, who takes everything way too literally and serious. That person who calls b.s. on you when you’re clearly telling a joke that’s intentionally ridiculous and of course untrue. That person who really needs to lighten up a little.
Is there an emotion or a wound attached to this? Sometimes we don’t open ourselves up all the way, we edit it down to other peoples liking, maybe out of kindness.
Devil’s Advocate: There’s many people who, when a spoken jab results in a vicious reply, scream “I was joking!” when maybe they really weren’t? It’s a way out of a difficult situation that’s only going to get worse.
I used to work with a lady who once interrupted me while I was telling a VERYINNOCENT joke by exclaiming, “you’re full of s**t!” It was kind of funny, but she was in a bad mood and meant it out of anger than that she didn’t understand I was kidding. That’s why it stuck with me I think.
Try rewriting it with a more distant memory, maybe this episode with her flayed open a wound? It bothers you for a reason, I’m sure if this was the first time it happened you wouldn’t have noticed.
It would seem to be a complete poem to me. However, if you’re looking for ideas on additional subj. matter; I think you could potentially add contextual detail/scenario to it (per 32^2 suggestion), or alternately, I think you might keep it generic, and explore the other person’s motivations for cutting you down.
Tad Winslow 
32 ^2 
mark.i.wang