i was so mad at you
what the actual fuck
you didn’t answer my calls
you had a perfect alibi:
you told me that your cellphone
was at the bottom of the delaware river

i was so mad at god and myself
that i couldn’t think anymore
so i stopped being mad

suddenly your lungs inflated
suddenly i was elated
i cried i cried i cried
i couldn’t breathe

i just wanted to run up to your house
and hold you
i know you don’t love me
and you never did
(not like i loved you anyway)

just let me pretend
if only for a while
just sit there
and take it like a man
while i cry and grovel at the feet of your
living dead body

i still don’t know
just how exactly you laugh at this
the only funny thing is that
i was more affected by your near-death experience
than you were

but isn’t that how it always is
i’m the more sensitive one here
as far as i can tell