I like the tone you use in these pieces. I can imagine a snappily dressed salesman all smiles, flourishing these products to the buyer. Cool ideas and concepts with natural dialogue.

One thing I would change would be the actual layout of the text. Ficly’s without an indent function, so you make up for that by separating the paragraphs with double spaces, like this:

“This have any point?”

“This, sir, is the Hybrid Rifle…”

It makes it flow better for the reader. Small problem, but if you fix it, it looks much nicer.

Done

I was thinking I might not have enough characters left to do it since I usually run out and need to re-edit stories.

The conversation is natural, and again the idea behind the product is cool. But these both seem to have some buildup to something cool, but then we get no real payoff.

If this is a series, then I suppose we can wait for a payoff. However, this format kind of relies on a killer ending. I think the penultimate line of punching holes in a tank would have been slightly better for this one. Has more weight than the final line by the main character.

Hm… high-tech knives, firearms. This could really lead into something disasterous for the characters, but also something exciting for the reader.