The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere/Nowhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.
Easily fixed. I actually knew your name had a C in it but I guess my fingers didn’t get the message. I have some ideas I want to explore with this so stay tuned! I give you credit for reminding (and introducing, I think) me to both Jenny’s.
Good start. We’re so used to heroes somehow making it out of scrapes, confirming in the next story that this Jenny is dead is a good way of setting the tone for the rest of your story.
One small piece of advice that I’d give is that I think you could afford to prune your story of most of its adjectives. ‘Clung’ does its job, we don’t need ‘clung tightly’.
Robert Quick
Garsecg
Robert Quick
Princess Binky Lemontwist (LoA)
Jim Stitzel
Ununnilium
Sanglorian