dkscully

(Gah, first version of this comment got eaten…)

This is a good effort in building an interesting story through dialogue, and I really like the idea.

However, you could do with some work on your use of language, in particular, more care and attention to detail on spelling, punctuation and grammar. As the errors in these let down the piece as a whole.

Thanks for trying you hand at my challenge!

• Posted over 10 years ago.
• 2 out of 5