We all await it. The cries across facebook, telling us of the zombie uprising. And when it happens, we will be ready. Here’s my plan.

The moment news of zombies in my own great country (you yanks are screwed) reaches me, my hands will shoot beneath the desk at which I currently sit, and grab the bat thats been stashed there for a long time. I’ll take the torch from my desk, my small toolkit and a knife from my kitchen.

Then I’ll go zombie hunting. My first aims will be to gather my friends, the prepared ones first. Every time I meet a zombie, I’ll kill it. Every single time. When I meet two zombies at once, I’ll kill them. When I meet three zombies at once, they’ll kill me. Then I’ll be a zombie with a softball bat and a big knife. Another defender of humanity becoming the thing he had set out to destroy.

I never said it was a good plan.