Looking at the words on the end of each line I see the rhyme pattern clearly. While reading straight through the poem most of those rhymes hide. I like that. It’s sunken in somehow.

Makes me think how two rights can make a wrong. Both sides feel that their battle effort is a moral and righteous endeavor— there has to be a want for pride there somewhere. You choose your hero though, the young warrior’s cause seems to be the clear side to root for. This has elements of shakespeare and fairytale. Good work.

Love this. Love everything about it. I want to write a sequel. This needs to be continued!

Go for it, Patroclus.

That is the point, after all… Epic poem is epic!

I am loving this beginning. Religious warfare breaks more hearts than it brings together.

Interesting that you would interpret this as religious warfare. I didn’t intend my descriptions to specify it such.

It certainly feels that way. It interpreted to me that way at any rate: the sacrifice over nothing material.