It begins with the first bronze nail. A wet, slurpy noise occurs as I slam it into my upper forearm, deep enough to hold. Blood also flows from my bitten lip as I calmly exhale. The unfeeling pale moonlight streams unfettered through the window as the next one is placed a few inches downward. I faintly feel myself slapping my cheek to fight off the black. When the following nail embeds itself, my mind flashes brightly and I can hardly hear the stuttering howls grow quiet.

The last one, the anchor to my palm, is for the 4th of the greatest days I ever had in my life. I am all the days in between your teeth. My weary head hangs low but I manage to swing the mallet hard enough to penetrate the table beneath my pulsating hand. “I love you, but I’ve chosen darkness.”

The passage of time makes no difference… sometimes we laugh so we don’t remember and cry. The fracturing of my radius sends a shudder throughout my emancipated body. In this loss of control, I can’t stop laughing. I hate you.