Ah, you found the downside to changing yourself.

Nice alliteration in the second to last stanza. Envy is most commonly a want masquerading as a need—that’s the epiphany your poem produces for me. The line between the two (wants and needs) gets blurred by jealousy. Although, love is a need masquerading as a want imo.

The voice of your poem is aware of the superficial folly of change, yet it yearns to be profoundly different from within for both good and bad reasons. Love is always a good one tho.