Been a while

It itches. That’s the best I can describe it. I haven’t cut it in YEARS. But today…it’s almost as if it WANTS me to cut. What the fuck?!
It’s like I MISS IT!????
But, I’m so far beyond that.
but the itch
that fucking insistent you must do this or else (or else what who the hell knows) itch!!!!!
I look at my wrist.
it looks odd without cuts
I look at my belly…same thing
I look at my neck…

I think rationally (or so I hope) and these actions are just not an option

but the f u c k i n g I T C H!

and the NNNNEEEEEEEDDDDDDD to see the blood.

It’s as elemental as eating or taking a piss.

I won’t do it. But it’s pretty annoyingly insistent. grrr.

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