I’m interested in seeing where this is going.

I hope you don’t mind if I share a few points:
The first time I read this line: Although, in Max’s opinion, they didn’t look very close.

I read it as: Although, in Max’s opinion, they didn’t look [like they were] very close [to the victim].
Meaning, that the dockworkers didn’t know the victim well. I’d recommend changing “close” to “closely” to clarify.

Also, the big dockworker saying “fiend” sounded a bit out of character. The impression I got of him was that he isn’t one to be easily rattled, so maybe having him say “whoever” instead of “the fiend who” would work better.

Of course I don’t mind. I find most feedback useful- even if I don’t adhere to every change suggested. It’s funny though, because I had originally wrote ‘closely’ and then dropped the -ly to try to avoid the adverb (supposedly a writer’s bane). As for the latter, I can see what you mean, and honestly Frederick probably wouldn’t say the word fiend anyway. It’s just my brain pushing that Victorian age theme. In this case it was unnecessary. Thank you!