#!/usr/bin/perl (failed)
Gah. This was an entry written in Perl (John Perkins provided the inspriation of using a computer language as a non-English language for this challenge). Sadly, Ficly can’t cope with hash signs very well, and at signs do very strange things. So, I’m afraid this is going to be a non-entry in lieu of a “delete story” button.
Sorry, folks.