A flash of red, blinding my
Eyes, tearing apart my cool,
Calm, collected demeanor.
Pain shoots through my body,

My head throbs and pangs of
Anger clouds my thoughts,
Which find themselves scattered
Like leaves wafting through
Playful, tricky winds.

I stall my words, stutter the meanings
Grab my chest and slow the heaves.
I feel my pulse
Pushing,
Pounding,
Crying and screaming for attention
With blood filled pumps.

My eyes, they close,
As my fingers clench,
My wrist is crook’d and my shoulders
Cocked back,
Arms are armed,
The trigger is set.

My rage fuels adrenaline
Blurring reality
I pause,
I stop,
I think,
I breathe.

Count to ten.
One, two, three,
Reflect on the moment,
Four, five, six
Pick apart the situation,
Seven, eight, nine,
One last breath,
Ten.
Compose, control,
Struggle to the end.
Clenched and shaking
I close my eyes, exhale and grin.