Freaky. It seems to speak that there is much more to the woman’s nonchalance than is written. Nice work!

Well, that was bizarre. Made me think of Dr. Who for some reason. Maybe a bit too much description crammed into some of the sentences in the first paragraph, but otherwise it flowed nicely.

Yeah I feel like the first paragraph is a little choppy. I’m still chafing against the length restrictions. Hopefully some practice will help me get descriptions down to the essentials.