I wonder if you know
that you helped to break my soul.
I’m sure you didn’t mean to,
or maybe you did.
I’ll never know.
All that’s for sure
is that I’m not really here.
I’m not really whole.
I’m broken, fragmented.
Separated from myself.
I like to think of it as a wall,
a protective coating,
a barrier from the pain.
For we all know it is easier to feel nothing than to feel hurt.
But sometimes,
on those rare occasions,
i like to peel back that layer
climb over the wall
and embrace the hurt,
Just to make sure I’m still alive.
The sting
the burn
the pain
the ferocity of it all.
I almost welcome it.
Stuck down in the sea of numbness,
sometimes I forget to check that I’m still breathing.
It’s a bittersweet moment;
to be happy that I’m still alive
but to hate it because I’m still miserable.
I’m so sick of this life.

I’m so sick of this life.
Start me off with something new
Restart
Give me a chance
to do this all right.
’Cause I would give everything
to turn out right in the end.