Tragic little poem. The last stanza is a little weaker than the others, though hard to say why. I think the meter might be a bit different.

Pretty nicely described poem that was interesting to read, but there were a few areas where the syllables crowd up the meter and the rhyme is a little forced. Also, the word fire is a little distracting when used so close together in the first 2 stanzas.

I agree with you THX0477 .Possibly because it leaves the reader hanging as if it is unfinished. Thanks for the feedback. Marli

I agree with this Stovohobo. I knew when I was typing theword fire. My mind overruled though. I should (and will try to proof before publishing.) Thank you for the feedback. Marli