Ooh, dramatic. I really like the line “all distant trumpets and thunder.” Actually, I like it all the way back to “Even the future echos here.”

I wasn’t quite sure where this (story?) was going, but the end justifies the means here: There’s not just a violent end to the world—“mere apocalypse”—there’s a point behind it, one that gets its own capital letter.

Personally, I’m not a huge fan of the stilted sound of “one” as opposed to the more informal “your,” but that’s just me. It does fit the structured, non-conjunctioned, almost clinical tone of the piece.

Yeah, it’s not really a story per se…I’m not sure what you’d call it.

I don’t often use “one,” but I was going for some sort of serene detachment, and it seemed to fit. Plus, the beginning and the end have an I/we mix which I like, but which creates issues with “my”/“our”/“your” choices in the middle.