This is the fourth genie encounter you’ve heard about in the past month. All of them end the same way—the first schmuck asks for two billion dollars, next day: crushed in a houseful of nickels. Next girl talks to you in the checkout line—you notice her stunning breasts, but they’re shortly obscured by the eye-gouging odor crawling out of her perfect lips. She bawls as you collapse to the floor.

It’s only after this fourth one, the frightened flier, that it comes to you.

Article A) There are one or more genii working in your immediate area with malicious predatory intent towards humans.

Article B) Tradition holds that genii tricks are bound only insofar as their masters can anticipate and guard against them.

Corollary B.1) Most people are too stupid and horny to do this.

You return to your small apartment and begin designing your business card:

Pareed Anwarzei
Cornell Law Graduate Student
(Business Law & Ethics)
Genie in a Bottle?
Always Wish With Protection!