Some days
My heart hurts
for you
and for me
and for everything I had once
and lost.

Some days
the smoke burns
so damn much
I can feel my lungs dying
along with everything else
I can feel each
damn
breath.

inhale
exhale
take in the smoke
feel it rush through your head
make it clear
just how much
everything
hurts.

Some day
I’ll write the truth
once I can figure out
what it is.

Maybe some day
my head will stop spinning
my thoughts will stop rushing
and I’ll figure out
what it is I have to say.

One day
I’ll forget about you.
about that night
full of steam
and lust
and desire
to be wanted
by someone else.

We tried to fill the holes in our hearts with each other.
but it didn’t work.
because that’s not how it works.

I want you to leave my head
I don’t want this
anymore.
I don’t want to want someone
who doesn’t want me.

I let him go.
Why can’t I let you go too.

Inhale
Exhale
this
is the only thing
that makes sense.

I’m pushing a damn rock up a damn mountain
for no
damn
reason.