As I stretch,
I remember long bright days
Walking when the gym teacher couldn’t see us.
Dreading the looks of the locker room girls,
With their perfect smooth legs and girly outfits
Face flushed at the beautiful young man
Who would try and teach a high school student to swim.
Listening to heavy metal,
The only girl in the weight room,
Wandering from machine to machine.
Silently weeping in a dorm room,
Eating snack cakes with sprinkles,
Splitting a large pizza
With one other person.
Being confused
Being sad
Medications that made it better
Medications that put on weight
I can hear the wheeze in my breath.
Who was that pretty girl in those pictures?
She doesn’t have fat on her neck
That doesn’t know where to go when smiling.
I hate when the movie ends-
I have to look at the ugly girl in the TV
When the screen goes black.
Run from showers
Avoid the glassy mirrors.
My brain screams till it’s hoarse
But my body doesn’t move
It just keeps dragging itself along
Hoping it doesn’t smother
My aching heart.