I wrote what I didn’t to write: something happy. I hate writing ‘happy’ poems. They all sound so detached, so naive or false when I read or wrote them, so I always avoided writing them altogether.

So I tried again…hope it is okay!

i don’t quite know if this is happy it sorta somewhat felt i wandered lonely as a cloud.. idk it might be the punctuation or the double lined stanza. feels forced.

still, I liked the image of the first two lines (children being all adorable and tracing on fogged up glass panes with their finger tips), to me the whole thing sounds curious more than anything else and I think you could’ve played that up

o i think it’s the song birds but esp the lovebirds that is incongrous

I guess it does give the image of this lonely old man sitting on a bench tired after a lifetime of nothing but sadness and misery >.<

Haha, I can’t write happy things….re-writing now

THIS IS HAPPY. Not in the shitting sunshine and rainbows way but a sort of contented reflective contemplative way.

and definitely lighter than what you normally write. kudos

HUZZAH, finally~! The first draft was indeed a bit gloomy sounding on retrospect, but I’m glad to have nailed it this time. Thanks for your help!

huzzah, featurrrrrrrrrred!

Yeah I think the exclamation mark doesn’t do much >< and the last stanza sounds a bit like… NE ._. But I love the first line :D

Tacky, yes….yet I couldn’t really find a suitable “happy end” to the poem that doesn’t make it sound bitter.

AHH I HATE WRITING THINGS WITH A HINT OF JOY