It's 3A.M. and I'm... lost

It’s the remembering that truly gets me heated. I can still see us in that tiny apartment in LH, PA. So happy, so…. unsure of the world around us. We’d go for walks with the dog, have barbeques by the river, stay up laughing at nothing and fucking all over the house until we were too exhausted to move. We were kids. At least…. I was. I think maybe that’s the problem. Maybe we were too young; me: (barely) 19, her: 25 and just finished a BA.

Who were we to be getting married? I’m starting to think everyone was sorta right. Well, not everyone. Most of the naysayers were incompetent peers with less life experience than either of us. However, I find myself hearing my best friend’s voice, over and over in my head, “Are you sure?” He’d been there for me since we were 11 & 12 years old and not once had he ever doubted me or questioned my resolve once I set out to do something, but this time I think he sensed a waver in my steadfastness. Now, those words of concern for me are keeping me up re-thinking a bit….

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