GAhhhh!!! That’s incredible. I really enjoyed this one. Maybe its because I just watched the matrix and I’m in to fires and action and stuff at the moment. My imagination is running wild with the possibilities of the hidden key.

continuity? brass keys won’t last 20 year under a rock. stainless steel is probably better for that sort of thing. good description and intriguing ending.

Is this the last vestige of a utopian society forever gone as a result of her deep-seated hatred? Or is it the hope of an undercover agent, not wanting to leave any trace of her plans to restore one? Either way, another great pilot episode!

I think this is one of your most powerful pieces of work yet! I love the descriptive language which you have used and the real-ness of your character. Bravo!

Wow, that did not go how I was expecting. And that is awesome.
I really like the word “regretfully” in there. It adds so much more emotion (for me at least) to the line after about people dying because of they key. Great job!

Thanks everyone!
@Pyro- I’d agree with you normally but the brass key is a key of destiny, it’s more than what it seems.
@Senor Bic- I love those interpretations. In my head, it’s kind of “Asian” fantasy, swords and sorcery kind of stuff. However if anyone wants to make a pilot, it can be whatever they want.

Why do I hear “the KEY of DESTINY” in a Megamind voice?

Nicely done, I really enjoyed the end with the soldiers and the end phrase. That was powerful stuff. I was bombarded with a slew of images pertaining to a book or movie or grahic cartoon with the phrase as an opening to or end of a long killer series. Well done Mr Quick…well done indeed.