The problem with time travel is that eventually, no matter how careful you are, how precise, how respectful to the past, you will end up…somewhen…pointing a gun at your future self.

Or past self.

Everything is fucking perspective.

We are told that even killing one little ant can alter the entire universe, so tread carefully. So we all try to tiptoe through the Industrial Revolution, sneak through the Renaissance, you get the picture. Don’t touch, don’t eat, don’t be noticed.

And yet…

Looks like I gain some weight in like…twenty years.

“So old man, you know how this works right? You shoot and we both die. Time Travel 101, dipshit.”

“And like that he fires. My skull erupts in fire and my left eye goes dark. So that explains the patch.

“Listen kid, sorry for that. Trust me it will work out. You’ll meet the right girl. Just have to look the part. So goodbye for now. And quit jerking off so much.”

That’s what time travel gets you, cryptic messages from future assholes.