With three smart taps I finished nailing the last corner of my NO SOLICITING sign. A tingle between my shoulder blades made me glance over my shoulder. The three strange men who had gathered on the edge of my lawn were still there. Just standing there. Watching me with crossed arms and disapproving faces so similar they could have used each other as mirrors. I didn’t know what cult they belonged to but I wanted none of it.

“What!” I shouted at them.

The two younger men looked to the oldest who spoke very seriously. “We take issue with your sign.”

“Why do you care?”

“It’s a free country. With that sign, you’re oppressing people. We’re going to stand against it. And you.”

“So the three of you are going to stand here in protest of the way I treat strangers on my property?”

Each one nodded in affirmation.

“You don’t think that counts as you oppressing me?”

They looked confused. “No why would it?”

“Get the fuck off my property. If you’re still standing there when I get back, we’ll start with the hose.”