You captured the bank perfectly. My favorite part was the last paragraph, about sales and DIY classes.

I have direct deposit so this is not a problem for me. Although…it was a pain when i didn’t have it so righty-o.

In my experience, people who don’t know their balance are usually the same ones who don’t keep track of their spending and, hence, don’t have a lot to keep track of. The tellers always offer to give me balances when I go in, but I never take them because my running balance in my own books is more accurate than theirs, since it accounts for things that haven’t cleared yet.

And yes, bank tellers also have to be salesmen now, which is annoyed when they try to push products on you that you don’t want. The vast majority of the money that banks make comes from the loans and mortgages they sell. Basically, they need you to be in debt to them so they can continue to do business. It’s a strange, twisted way of doing things.