i thought of you
while watching
the movie we planned to watch together
i kept my hands
folded neatly
in my lap.
and looked at the empty seat to my left where i kept my thoughts.
my sister was to my right,
and i had nowhere to lean but there.
i shifted uncomfortably in my seat,
interlocked my fingers with my own.
i reached out in the dark for you,
but you were not there.
i watched the movie,
and i thought of us
and of our life together.
go to college in philadelphia,
just like i never planned.
after school we’d travel a bit,
maybe.
i heard you’d always wanted to go to australia.
i’d detest the place;
too hot.
but you’d need a hand to hold.
maybe we would settle down,
maybe not.
we could move to maine;
bangor,
portland,
brunswick… something smaller maybe.
we would have a cottage,
rustic, but with running water.
i would drive a red 1996 jeep cherokee.
we would adopt a baby from china.
we would have a pet raccoon.
and i would have you.
perhaps the sims you made of us will soothe my thoughts for now.