sorry to say your essay sucks
So young so idealistic,
most of all too simplistic.
Read only a paragraph but it made me tick.
Despairing, I tried to help, but all I did was slash
red comments on badly writ words. Too brash?
I hope not, I just want her to make a splash.
Thusly, I helped a junior today. Met my good deeds quota
for the day. I’d say it makes for pretty good karma,
since the sum of my acquaintance with her amounts to an iota.