You had me at " Pricilla Queen of the Desert"
The writing was a bit stilted which would account for your language barrier. Try writing your story in your native language then transcribe it. You will probably the flow will come if you persevere.

That was a bit of an odd ending. She’s foaming at the mouth? Suicide pact? Maybe I’ll have to read the challenge. Definitely had an appropriately rambly, drunken sort of feel to it.

I was a bit drunk when i wrote it, well spotted.
And I tried to get everything in, in order, which might account for the stilted feel. I might give it another go when i’m sober. But still, squeezing in the entire list took me the better part of an hour…
(great challenge though)