That teacher graded those awfully fast… I guess she scan-tron-ed them right after school. I wish we did get a little note when our tests were graded so we knew if we passed and could stop worrying. :)

Easily recognizable event – kudos for something any reader can identify with. (I might consider putting in “…bubbles with his #2 pencil” just to flesh out the reference.)

The “etc” is (a) an abbreviation, so needs a period at the end, and (b) a bit off-putting for the flow of the story. You might have filled out the reference so many computer users are familiar with.

It might even have been worthwhile to refer to Windows’ dodgy progress bars, such as:

50% Completion
53% Completion
57% Completion
61% Completion
62% Completion
63% Completion
98% Completion
99% Completion

A very BAM moment. :)

Thanks for entering the challenge – I look forward to reading more of your work.

I fleshed out the meter more, but I made it like my PS3 loading meter.

Ooh, very nice. And the PS3 meter comes up a LOT, doesn’t it?

Oh, and my PS Network name is SisyphusX. In case someone wants to compare trophies. :)