Dear Lucas:
I find with some satisfaction that I have been successful in engineering a minor fiasco for the young man we discussed. Thought it was nothing more than a minor miscommunication, it will prove difficult for him to graduate on time.

Unfortunately, to accomplish this result, I was obliged to resort to a slightly ignoble ruse. The most significant element of the lie I told may prove a bit troublesome, in time, to a veteran of our group’s shenanigans; still, Flan has a sense of humor about these things normally.

Finally, I lament my bad luck in having to report that there has been a more serious loss than anticipated when we last met. It was due to the inept actions of our new recruit, who in a bizarre moment of confusion tried to extinguish the life of a bust of Sisyphus that was in the library hallway. I will fill you in on the costs of this accident when we meet next week.

Yours in sepulchritude,
Chippy McNaff