Cold and stark. You just want some prince to ride in on a white stallion and make everything all better. She’s a smart girl, she will figure something out.
Some erratic punctuation, and I presume that all your dreams shattered like a broken glass? Although I sort of like it the way you wrote it. Other than that nitpicking, a nice description of that flat, blunt feeling when something desired very badly is denied. And I love the grandmother erasing her from her refrigerator…an unfortunate coincidence, or a deliberate act of malice?
I enjoyed the ‘Pamela Anderson used to be my best friend’ line. It seems to be from out-of-nowhere, but then again it makes you doubt the whole ‘Princeton’ thing too, so maybe it’s a story device to define the character.
ElshaHawk (LoA)
JonB
BiC