I’m elbow deep into the wall. I wish I hadn’t even started. I can hardly imagine getting all the way through. I’m exhausted. I’m scared. I might get stuck partway between.
I might get there and you will tell me to get out.
This was a bad idea, maybe. (As I continue to drill) At least this way I have my privacy, and you have yours. I don’t know that it’s even acceptable for me to be going through to you. All I have is some wishful thinking and loneliness to keep me going.
Even if you don’t mind me being there with you, there’s no place else to go, and you’ll probably get tired of me after a few hours anyway. There’s nothing charming about me in the first place.
(I’m still digging and chipping away. My ankles are surrounded by dust and rock chips)
My head is here inside the barrier. My mind is enveloped in the aged stone of earth.
Soon I’ll be totally within the wall, part of the mountain, a worm in an apple, a sword in the stone. A diamond in the rough. A mass in the cold, cold ground.
I should pause…