(On the phone to prospective employee for the position of God.)

Employer: “Dear God, I pray that you indulge me in the following request. If you are able to comply, then I will believe that the position you are hoping to fill in this company is creditable, and you will be asked to oversee it immediately.”

“I pray that you do the following two things for me at the exact same time tomorrow, in my office, at 12:00pm: Stand before me and at the same time do not. "

“Please be faithful to the notion that I, for one, will not be persuaded by the act of simply not being there.”