Rule 1: Always carry an umbrella and a rubber duck.

Umbrellas perform a variety of functions:
-They protect you from the rain
-They make an excellent walking stick
-They can double as a blunt force object
-They are the ideal instrument for extracting souls

Rubber ducks also perform a variety of functions:
-They make excellent bath companions
-They fulfill your need for a duck when it is not appropriate to have a live one
-They are the ideal storage unit for souls

On the bottom of the rubber duck you will now always be carrying around, you will write down the name of the person and the wish you will be granting them. So I guess you should carry around a Sharpie as well.
“How does one use an umbrella to extract a soul?” you may be asking yourself. I do not know the mechanics of it. I don’t question it. You shouldn’t either. Once you write down the necessary things on the rubber duck, tap the umbrella to the person’s left temple, and then the rubber duck. Congratulations, you’ve just taken a soul.

View this story's 5 comments.