I still had a couple of ideas I couldn’t quite fit in there. Oh well.

I’m digging this. The only thing I’d mention is the line:
“A man died in there.”
There’s nothing really wrong with it, however, I think there’d be more bite to the remark if Perma said, “our brother”, to make it more personal.

I had the impression that Spherule wasn’t related to them, from the original story or at least not one of the siblings, since he was so much older. But you’re right, that would be better. Probably the House of Hermes’ patriarchs were very long lived and it was a very large family once.

And not to be all MySpace-y, but thanks for adding me!

Some of the names are prolly too vague to give away the scheme I was using, so I’ll just tell you…they are all named after “ages”. The oldest being Spherule, or Stone (He’s the Paleolithic), then Lithic (Neolithic), Lurgy (I admit this one’s a stretch, since it’s Metalurgy, or Bronze Age), Ferrum (Iron), Auric (Golden), Perma (Ice), Strailis (Industrialis) and Nology (Technology).

I probably could have done better giving the impression that they are all related…I’ll go back and take a look.

And, you’re most welcome.

I did get that there was a metallic theme to some of the names, that was why I brought in the alchemical stuff.

I very much like the structure you’ve given the characters. My ideas where much more nebulous, which is probably why they didn’t come across as well. ^^

*were much more nebulous

Bah

Quite dramatic, and I liked the fleshing out of character and relationship. Also neat to see the two of you working together.