Nicely done! I see the tags at beginning and end. :) Intense moment. No time to really feel much besides fear.

Good use of the tags. I’m not sure what ‘dark knots’ are but I certainly wouldn’t want to have them in my ‘bowels’. :) Lots of action here, well done.

Nicely done with the ending tag. I had to reread it, but blame it on my a.d.d., baby. You know what’s weird is that it scared me in two different ways the two times I read it. The first time it reminded me of Signs, and I thought there was something paranormal going on and he had an asthma attack or something. Then when I read it correctly I felt a bit noxious and hopeful nothing like that ever happens.