Man, these job boards are the worst.

Spam. Dubious work-from-home “opportunities.” Unpaid internships that require 10 years experience.

Well, I guess I’ll refresh the page one more time and call it a day. My unemployment runs out in two weeks, so I need to find something. Anything.

“Bend the forces of Reality to your very will!”

Hmm…this one sounds promising.

“Description: Deity – Entry Level
Purpose: Oversees and maintains legacy Universe. Mends the fabric of Reality based on changing business requirements.
Duties:
- Services and maintains legacy Universe
- Provides first level support for Universe users
- Gathers requirements and prepares business cases for upgrades to Universe
- Furnishes regular reports about Universe health to management
- Help plan transition to updated Universe (in development)
Skills/Qualifications: Problem solving, communication, 3-5 years C++, Lotus Notes, Compassion a plus
Considerations: Must sign 2000 year contract. No vacation time.
Apply: HERE”

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